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Lebanese Women issue - Lebanese Topics
Women Social Issues
An Investigative Report
An Inconvenient Reality
From talking to so many Lebanese women, of all ages, over the last few years since www.lcnj.com was established, and from talking to Nada, the good-hearted, selfless, and wonderful Lebanese Matchmaker in France who urged me to write this article to help educate, enlighten and correct a "social wrong" after she agreed to share openly with me all her ideas and much appreciated insight, it became very clear that the most common ambition of Lebanese women is to find true love with the right Lebanese man and live happily ever after in the stability of a good Lebanese marriage...
...but... regretfully... they continually go about it the wrong manner!...
Let me tell you why!...
We see, over and over again, 90% of Lebanese women, of all types, ignore, without spending anytime getting to know them, 90% of Lebanese men who they “physically” do not like because, "there is no spark"... or " he is too fat"... or "I found no attraction"…. or "he is too short"... or "مِش عَ زَوْقي"... or "there is no chemistry"... or "Ya mama, he has kids"... and find themselves running like a spaz exclusively after the “hot” looking guys in “sexy shape” and very little else to offer – aka boy toys … It is no secret that most of such men, who constitute less than 10% of Lebanese men, have an over inflated image of themselves which is further inflated by the drooling of the 90% of Lebanese women who keep lusting over them day in and day out. They rarely have something of “substance” to offer and they end up “playing” the same women that continue to drool over them, over and over again… leaving them with emotional scars, and severe self-esteem issues that even time cannot heal…
Danny, a very “hot and sexy” Lebanese man and the personification of a very charming “dog”, told me that, over the years, he has "deflowered" 23 Lebanese women then spit them out after he “got” what he wanted from them!... In his gloating, he expresses his utter cryptic enjoyment of the games he plays with the hearts of such "naive" Lebanese women who should have "seen it coming to them"… Those "drooling" Lebanese women, and probably many others after them, have one thing in common and one claim to fame in this life: They all were used by "Hot and Sexy" Danny... the Lebanese dog!...
The sad reality is that such “drooling” type of women never knows when to stop chasing the Dannys of the world... and guess what? Yes, you guessed it... They never stop complaining, day in and day out, that they cannot find any decent Lebanese man to marry because, and I quote their words “all Lebanese men are dogs”… What they never seem to come to terms with is that when all they do is run exclusively after dogs, they will never meet anything more than dogs… how hard is that to understand?
Now, if and when one of these “drooling” women gets to marry such a “catch”, they discover all too late that he really has nothing else to offer more than boyish looks and a sexy body to drool over... No communication... No stability... No love... No respect... No nurturing... lousy sex... and zero effort to make a marriage work... let alone happy and fulfilling... Nada has spoken to many such drooling Lebanese women after they got married and they told her horror stories about how they should have known better... and how totally fed up they are with the total lack of intimacy... financial stability… the lack of communication... and the lack of romance and affection…
While some are fed up with their Lebanese husbands “cheating on them” on the one hand … others never stop complaining about how “lousy” in bed their husbands became after marriage with their "2 second marathons before they go to sleep"… She heard endless accounts of mental, emotional and physical abuse and… stories of alcoholism… stories of drug abuse… and… the nauseating story of one “hot husband” being caught with another “hot” gay man in bed... while another "hot husband" was arrested for soliciting sex from a minor.
So, after lusting over “boy toys” in their 20’s… then lusting over “boy toys” in their early 30’s… and then finding out too late the high risks of delivering a child with “down syndrome” for women over the age of 35…. those Lebanese women reach the shocking age of 33.
At the age of 33… their biological clock starts ticking... and the senseless, mad rat race begins to find any "hot" Lebanese man to marry… get to know him barely enough to get engaged to him… prepare for the wedding, get married, get pregnant and deliver a child before they turn 35. That’s too much pressure!…
"Another side of the wrong choices Lebanese women make is the recent trend choosing the wrong age", Nada says. "Although traditionally, in our Lebanese Culture, the most stable and happy marriages have proved to be marriages where the man is 15-20 years older than his wife, what I found perplexing is that a woman of 33 is still looking for a man who is 35… or worse, a woman of 39 who is still looking for a man who is “younger”. What on earth is all this about?"
Nada is on the money!... Recently, I had the amusing pleasure of having a very odd dialog with a “nerdy looking” Lebanese guy who is 35 and his 2 sisters… one of which is already at her 33 years old mark.
All of them were eagerly talking about their desire to meet Lebanese spouses. So, I asked the 33 year old sister about the type of Lebanese man she would like to meet, and all she had to say “35… maybe 40”…. Perplexed, I looked at her brother, who is 35, and asked about the type of Lebanese woman he would like to meet and he said “22 to 28”… What is wrong with the picture? What type of twisted thinking is this all about even in the same family? The sister wants to marry a Lebanese guy who is her brother’s age of “35” when her brother, a Lebanese guy, obviously wants to meet a Lebanese girl who is “22” years old!!!!!....
Lebanese women in their 20’s and early 30’s (even, at times, those in their late 30’s) need to wake up and do the right thing by themselves and by their fellow Lebanese men.
Enough "Talbeet"!… and enough “istrjel”!… "No decent Lebanese man wants to marry a "Spaz"!".. adds Nada..
Does age really matter?
Here is a real life story of a 32 year old Lebanese women who thought she knew it all and rejected a great Lebanese man who was 48 because "he is too old" then married a 40 year old man. At the age of 46, her "younger" husband started having heart problems... At 47, her dear husband died after less than 7 years of marriage leaving her with 3 kids and 3 mouths to feed... and... no income. This Lebanese woman is now supported by the welfare system wishing she had married the first man!...
"Let me sum it up"…Nada concludes. "Looks are not everything… an age difference of 10-15 years even 20 years is no big deal… and historically has been a proven recipe for a happy Lebanese marriage. My advice to you, if you are over 30, is that if you find one nice, decent, fun and financially stable Lebanese man, regardless of his age or looks, grab him and give him your all!...".
FINAL THOUGHT- What is most charming about a Lebanese woman is not her looks… It is that “down to earth” attitude, good heart, sensual energy and femininity that attract the “right” Lebanese man with noble intentions…. There is nothing more offensive to a decent Lebanese man more than a Lebanese woman, no matter how pretty she is, who chooses to be arrogant, moody, mean-spirited لَئيمِة or who enjoys "messing" with guys' heads. Let those who have ears listen... very, very attentively... as happiness awaits them but not if they continue their destructive behavior and waste their life chasing the "dogs".
The Lebanese Matchmaker
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