Lebanese Newsletter,Lebanese Events

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Women Issues - A mature topic for Adults over 18

The Wrong Choices that Lebanese Women make - Part Two

If you are over 18 years old, click here to view the topic - If you are under 18 years old, click here

Humor

A patient receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The patient says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The patient replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "I forgot to call you yesterday."

________________________

Two cows were standing in a field.
One said to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other said "No, I'm not worried, I'm a horse!"

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Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

________________________

Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

________________________

A: Just look at that little boy with the short hair and blue jeans.
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

________________________

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain things in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

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A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, fixed the pipe and handed the doctor a bill for $1,000.

The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!."

The plumber responded, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."

________________________

Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
A: If you aim it well enough.

Humor
One Wish from God

An Lebanese man in California was in deep prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord, please grant me one wish."

Suddenly the sky opened up above and the voice of God spoke to him, "Because you had so much faith to ask, I will grant you a wish."

The man said, "Please build me a bridge from here to Hawaii, so I could drive there anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Tsk tsk tsk... But your request is so materialistic. With such huge distance, think of the logistics of that type of project. The supports it needs to reach the bottom of the Pacific!... The concrete and steel it would take!... I can do it, but I need to let you know that it will be hard for me to justify your desire for such a materialistic wish. Take a little more time to think of another wish.... a wish that would honor and glorify me."

The Lebanese man scratched his head for a while. Finally he said, "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I did not understand them. I wish that you could make me just understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, and how I can make a woman truly happy?"

To that, God responded "Did you want that bridge with two or four lanes?"

The Power of Advertising on LCNJ

I cannot accept donations to support the continuation and expansion of the good mission of the Lebanese Cultural News Journal LCNJ to remain an uplifting "projection" to the world of what the Lebanese Culture truly is... but I can accept advertising which will benefit everyone.

LCNJ receives 10,000 - 31,000 visitors a day, and this "targeted" traffic is increasing at a very fast rate.

Any businesses that advertise on LCNJ to reach the Lebanese, Arab and Middle Eastern communities in their areas of service will gain unprecedented exposure and that, in turn, will lead to enormous increase in their annual income year after year.

A Win-Win situation all parties involved will benefit. The businesses who advertise on LCNJ will benefit from selling more goods and services to thousands of our daily visitors... the customers will benefit from learning about the businesses advertised on LCNJ and purchasing their goods and services... LCNJ will benefit and continue to expand as the most powerful positive image of Lebanon worldwide... and you will benefit from the unique and uplifting content of LCNJ.

Advertise your Lebanese and Arab Business Here
Do you want your business to be seen by close to 3 Million visitors every year? Please contact sales@lcnj.com to purchase an ad space

Communicating With Confidence

This is the single most powerful section of the Newsletter

You can make more friends in one year by doing something that truly benefits your Community than you can in a lifetime by trying to get others interested in you.
Make the world a kinder, gentler world... How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. You may forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient will cherish them over a lifetime.
When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade.
You may seem to be able to convince people against their will... but you will not be able to change their opinion.
The trait of a great communicator is to be able to speak effectively so that you can express your thoughts and emotions accurately... but that alone makes you at best a 50% great communicator. To become a great communicator, you also need to learn how to listen effectively.

Tell A Friend

You can let your Lebanese friends worldwide know about www.lcnj.com by Telling A Friend

The Meaning of Life

"What is the Meaning of Life... for you personally"? After a period of silence and headshaking that extended from few seconds to close to a minute, I got the following answers:

"To have god in my life and mom in my heart".. Myrna in CT
"To find happiness" - Ghada in NY
"To leave an imprint", Grace in FL
"To love and be loved", Layla, in NJ
"Enjoy and being content with my life the way it is", Dunia in MI
"Getting up in the morning and having something to look forward to", Mike in NY
"Self actualization... and understanding the laws of the universe", Nadine in CT
"hmm... meaning of life? ma ili jledeh... 7el 3anni...is2al 7ada teni", Ruba in NY

Now, I ask you... "In one sentence... What is the Meaning of Life for you"? - Click Here to respond

Nicole's Humor...

My daughter Nicole and I were once at the dentist's office where a sign that said "No Eating Allowed" was visibly displayed.

One of the fun aspects of "education through play" between Nicole and me is my asking her if I can eat her head, her ankle, her elbow, calf, etc... to teach her the names of her body parts... and her saying "no"...

So, when I asked her if I could eat her nose that day, she pointed to the sign and said "No, you can't... Look!... No Eating People Allowed"...

Ignorance of the Law is No defense

"Ignorance of the Law is no defense" is a worn out doctrine used, or more accurately, abused by courts, judges and lawyers who "happen" to know the Law.

This doctrine is intellectually and morally bankrupt. The average person is ignorant of many of the existing complex laws let alone the laws and ordinances that get passed in and out with little or no notification.

Do you feel you are connecting with LCNJ's good message?... Do you want to see LCNJ expand to fight for causes that are important to you? Please invite capable Sponsors to contact LCNJ and offer support at sponsor@lcnj.com or call Nabil at 6 0 9 2 2 3 - 0 0 8 9.

Words of Wisdom

"Happy people don't have the best of everything, they make the best of everything".

Ignoring Negative Comments

A contest was planned for 50 turtles to race up a steep hill to reach the top of the hill.

As the race started, for some illogical reason, the crowd felt that the hill was too steep for the turtles to reach the top so they started screaming for the turtles to come back...

After so much screaming all but one turtle gave up the race and came back. One turtle kept on going up the hill ignoring the repeated screams to come back... until he reached the top.

When they asked that turtle why he would not return, they found out that he was deaf.

The moral of the story: Those who ignore negative comments, succeed.

Nicole's Wisdom...

One day Nicole came to me and said:

"I love doing nice things to people who have been nice to me"...

The Moral: Those are the words of an 8-year old kid....

How many of you, adults, actually do something nice for people who have been nice to you?... and how many of you just take from that someone without giving anything in return?...

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