Lebanese Satire



		A Satirical Response to the outburst of Monsieur Antoine aka "Mr Ethics" in Publishing "The Typo"
		SUMMARY Monsieur Antoine did something "not so nice" in his newspaper. This was brought up to our attention and we verified it in his paper. We exposed him for not "being nice" and we suggested that he simply should have known better... See our February 2007 Newsletter under "Newspaper Faux Pas". So, what happens?... Monsieur Antoine snaps like the Tazmanian Devil and all hell breaks loose with his unnecessary personal attacks and childish name calling... Although I am a strong believer that two wrongs don't make a right, and had he not , over so many years, engaged in a never ending cycle of bullying others, I would have just let this one slide... but, unfortunately, the only way to deal with a "habitual" bully, it seems, is to stand up to him so he never... ever misconstrues your "sense of decency" for weakness. Accordingly, the response below is meant to show the "schoolyard bullies" of the world once for all that whatever they can do, there is always someone out there, with a much larger audience, who can do it much better than them, far more effectively, and... in a nicer, more entertaining way!... Yalla, let's see how the response will unfold!... My RESPONSE To Monsieur Antoine "People who live in glass houses should not throw stones" What... on earth... was that looney kazooney, moolah shmoolah, unnecessary outburst of personal attacks all about, Monsieur Antoine?... Just remember that childish name calling such as "Dr. Habil" or "Nabil not Habil" does not reflect bad on anyone else but you!... get it?... I am sure that your mom would wash your mouth out with soap... and slap you a bit around with a large trout, if we ever tell her... Whatever you're smoking, man, take it easy!... It's making you dizzy and rambunctious... Take time to relax... and unwind yourself... What exactly was so horrible about anyone saying that Monsieur Antoine was "not so nice" -- and a lot of people have said it -- that, all of a sudden, I became the newest target of Monsieur Antoine’s cuckoolamunga bullying and superfluous personal attacks?!... At this juncture, I am not sure how much of a "friend" Antoine was or is to anyone... To make friends, he needs to be a genuine friend first, not self serving... I am probably the only person who still did not listen to all the bad things that are being said about him, day in and day out, and actually gave him a chance to redeem himself!... In any case, even friends tell friends when they do something "not so nice"... but that does not give Antoine poetic license to rant senselessly all over the place like a castrated rooster!... "quick to judge, quick to anger, slow to understand" Let me be the one to break it to you, guy.... There are so many Lebanese and Arab friends, and very staunch supporters of mine who know all too well how "noble" Nabil is including, but not limited to, publishers of decent newspapers as well as decent men and women in our community worldwide!... Just take a look at a very small sample of the heartwarming "noble" words from people everywhere including highly respected people within our local community here. Frankly, my dear, I am still waiting for one decent Lebanese person to say anything favorable about you. If there is such a person, please have them contact me and tell me something nice about you... I may even publish it. Also, don't let your heart be troubled since, unlike you, I have no reasons to doubt my own worth... I know my own worth all too well... and so do many "decent" and intellectually competent Lebanese and Arabs with good hearts, good minds and the ability to look for the good and excellence in others. Being a meanie and bullying others for one reason or another... or no reason at all... is not nice at all!... Schoolyard bullies should be sent to the Principal's office so they can bully themselves... It is way too obvious to the rest of us that such senseless, mean-spirited, and unnecessary outburst was nothing short of a "smoke screen" and a sorry maneuver to cloud a clear admission of guilt!…. Antoine, aka "Mr. Character" and "Mr everyone-is-my-ex-best-friend-and-now-wants-to-make amends-with-me", alleges that he simply made an oh-so-innocent “typo” and “Habib” was magically transformed into “Habil”!… Yeah rrrrrright!... just spare us, dude!... This case is way too elementary, Sherlock... and it doesn't take rocket science to solve it!.... We ALL have keyboards… As your archenemy Michel from another newspaper had pointed out to me --but was to scared to confront you because of the not-so-amiable history between you two--, the letter “L” is no where near the letter “B”… If this was truly a “typo” as Antoine loves to allege, Habib may become Habiv, Habin, Habig or Habih… but when Habib becomes Habil, that is a hard one to sell as a mere typo to the rest of us... knowing all too well that, in Arabic, habil "accurately" translates to "simple-minded" which, by itself, is really not all that nasty unless Antoine intended it to be otherwise. Without sugar coating it, Antoine should have known better than to publish something this ludicrous!.... End of Story!... I tried to give Antoine a call to point out to him that he was not being nice… and he conveniently did not get my voicemail message nor returned my call at that time… So, I did the next best thing to point out to him that he was not being nice… and, with a little bit of light hearted humor to lessen the effect of his "not so nice" antics, I “exposed” the so called “typo”…. Mind you, I was not the one who "fabricated" the typo... I was the one who exposed it. What I found perplexing was that instead of simply taking full responsibility for his "typo" antics and keeping a low key, "Mr. Multiplicity" went on an "inordinate gossip" rampage of Tazmanian proportions to blame me for exposing the "typo" instead of blaming himself for publishing it in the first place. What a guy!... I have so many "widely talked about" facts to share about Antoine from his "ex-friends", to his "ex employees", to the "Salaam Club" controversy, to the people he has interviewed, etc... but, for the time being, I will keep such information to myself because this matter is really so insignificant in the grand scheme of things and, although I have many imperfections, I do follow a calling much greater than this silly bickering. One small thing I should clarify though... With LCNJ having the MUCH LARGER audience, the 2 lonesome short lived and obscure "publicity plugs" Antoine keeps bragging about where highly overcompensated many... many times over in the last few years, with the extremely powerful free publicity that we gave his "small community" paper AS REPEATED FAVORS and an REPEATED ACTS OF KINDNESS on our high visibility website that is visited by millions of "targeted" visitors... something Monsieur Antoine can only dream about...

		The Lebanese who are successful and happy in their lives look for the POSITIVE in fellow Lebanese... away from the senseless outbursts of jealousy, hypocrisy, gossip and negativity!"...